I suppose I could have titled this post A CHRISTIAN Response to Political Discourse as I believe there are some attitudes and behaviors that all believers could bring to the current political climate in the US. However, I am writing largely to Christian coaches and I think there may be some particular insights that apply to us.

First, let me say that I don’t care one bit who you voted for, nor where on the political spectrum you find yourself. I know many, many awesome, well-meaning, sincere, godly, effective, gracious people with whom I disagree on various political issues, and my love, respect, and desire for relationship with them is not diminished one bit by those differences in belief or perspective.

And maybe that’s a good place to start in talking about how we coaches can (should?) respond to those with whom we have political disagreement. One of the hallmarks of a coaching mindset is the belief that others are whole, capable, gifted and empowered by God to figure things out for themselves and to come up with answers to the questions they face. And for many topics I see coaches doing a great job believing the best in others, trusting motives, understanding that the other person has an answer that is right for THEM, even when it wouldn’t be the answer for the coach.

I have to tell you, however, that when it comes to political differences, much of what I hear and read from people (even coaches) is the complete opposite of this mindset.

What I see and hear (both in private discussions and on social media) is an assumption that if others disagree with me about a political solution, program, or issue, they must have bad motives. I’ve heard so much in recent days questioning the motives and hearts of those on “the other side”, as if anyone who disagrees with me must be evil.

I’ve heard the motives of others questioned in impassioned posts, articles, and comments, as if the only possible reason someone could have a different perspective than mine is that they are a terrible person. I’ve seen the most obvious double standards applied to the actions of those on “the other side.”  We are OUTRAGED by something someone does, but are not bothered at all when those same things are done by someone “on my side.”

I’ve seen people looking under every rock for a reason to be offended or hurt, without any regard for their own (often identical) actions that might have caused hurt for someone else.

And perhaps the saddest part is that I’ve seen Christians (and Christian coaches) for whom I have great respect, smugly calling into question the intelligence, motivation, and heart of fellow believers, tearing them down while receiving congratulatory “pats on the back” from other Christians who happen to think the same way.

Let me say this to all of us: STOP IT!

You aren’t helping the cause (either your political cause or the Kingdom) when you denigrate someone else who doesn’t believe the same way you do. Many of you (us) are very good with words and can form very sharp, clever replies to some post or other that may win you LIKES from your Facebook fans, but those sharp retorts tear down others.

So…what is a Christian coach to do? How do we demonstrate our coaching mindset even when interacting around politics? Here are a few things I believe can help…

First, keep believing in other peoples’ goodness, wholeness, and heart. Believe that other people have the same high hopes and dreams for something better that you do. Believe that the motives are pure and that your role is to help them figure out where they want to go and what they need to do to get there.

Next, remember that someone else’s solution will likely look different than your own – and that’s OK. Let’s don’t be so tied to our own way of thinking that we deem anyone who disagrees with our perspective must be on the wrong track.

Third, be open to learning something new. One of the great joys we have as coaches is watching our clients come up with creative solutions that we would never have thought of in a million years! We absolutely LOVE it when we discover something new from our clients. Why not be open to that same discovery in the area of politics? What if someone comes up with a great idea for resolving some political issue? Too often, if it didn’t fit our narrative, we would miss it or dismiss it. Why not be open to a new idea without assuming the other person has some nefarious motive?

Fourth, check your bias. In our coaching relationships, we often self-manage by realizing the baggage we might be bringing into a coaching conversation or topic. We intentionally suspend our assumptions about a topic to help the client work toward a solution for themselves. Why not recognize that same baggage when it comes to our political beliefs. Al of us have arrived at our beliefs through a combination of instruction, reflection, and experience. Let’s recognize that others have arrived at theirs through the same process. And, hopefully like us, their beliefs are continuing to be shaped and formed by their experiences. What if we respected that process and gave space for it? What if we recognized that what we believe about a certain issue has come from instruction, reflection, and experience that was different from the other person, rather than seeing our perspective on that issue as the only valid one. What if we accepted the fact that our perspective is limited by our own process and that some other instruction, reflection, or experience would have led to a different perspective. How might that change the way we approach others with different viewpoints?

The final word I want to say about using more of a coach-approach to our political discussions is this:  be gracious. I find that coaches are some of the most gracious and accepting people I know; let’s extend that grace to our political discussions. Attacking someone who doesn’t see things the same way we do is NEVER going to persuade them to see things differently. Tearing someone down because they are on the other side of an issue is not a reflection of the ONE who lives in us. I’ve seen enough name-calling and smug put-downs from people I know to be good, godly believers. Let’s not join that chorus, but rather try to make a difference in the world.