At the beginning of the year, I became responsible for caring for a baby birb. No, I did not misspell bird—I purposely wrote birb. At the dinner table, our middle son returned from time with his friends and mentioned a self-care app he had downloaded called Finch. Simply put, you care for yourself by caring for a bird—or, as the app misspells it, a birb.
As he told me about Finch, something resonated. The new year had just begun, and I was ready to focus on some goals and new habits. I immediately downloaded the app and asked my birb to friend his birb. The first thing the app asked me was how long I would commit to using it. My son had committed for a few days. I committed for two weeks.
Thirty-one days later, I have reinforced new habits and developed a better outlook on daily life. As I provide myself self-care, my birb, Peaches, grows and even learns, reflecting my own progress. The birb is ultimately me. I do believe we can overfocus on ourselves, but when the Bible says I should love others as I love myself, I need to first love myself.
Let me share six ways in which Finch has helped me create a self-care rule of life.
1. Daily Affirmation
To hear my little birb tell me, “I start every day with a clean slate,” is surprisingly powerful. The affirmations are always simple and feel genuinely true. Their strength lies in their simplicity and authenticity. When I read the affirmation in the morning, I can feel my brain reset from a neutral, slightly chaotic state to a positive, affirming one.
Self-talk cannot be ignored. In place of a daily affirmation, I have a voice that often delivers a daily refutation: “You really have not amounted to much, have you?” I have found there are always two voices inside my head. The negative voice is always louder than the positive. As a Christian, I believe the softer voice is the voice of the Spirit, but I need a daily reminder to hear the affirming voice—which, in turn, helps quiet the negative one.
2. How Motivated Are You Today?
At the bottom of the screen that holds my affirmation, I am asked, “How motivated are you today?” with five response options, ranging from “Not at all” to “Ready to fly.”
The aha moment for me is that the question itself changes my motivation. There’s a mental reset—shifting from wanting to stay in the comfort of my warm bed to thinking about what I can accomplish today.
I am typically a fairly motivated person, so my initial response is always a three or four out of five. However, simply being asked the question makes me choose one level higher than my initial instinct. It reminds me that the day is full of possibilities. I become more motivated just by acknowledging my motivation.
3. Daily Goals
Finch offers a selection of pre-set goals but also allows you to create your own. From the beginning, Finch gave me a daily goal called “Clean a Space.”
They say a cluttered desk is a sign of intelligence. If that is true, I am really smart! I admit that cleaning and organizing are not my natural priorities. However, as Finch consistently prompts me to clean a space, I find myself more mindful of my surroundings and how they affect me.
As I make an effort to declutter, I’ve noticed a sense of calm and even a bit more happiness. If I can complete 7–10 goals each day, I feel a certain satisfaction and appreciation for the day’s progress.
4. Discovery & Reflection
So far, I haven’t described how one actually cares for the birb. When I complete enough goals, my birb gains energy and embarks on an adventure—which typically lasts six to eight hours. Later in the day, I check in on his progress. When he returns, he wants to chat.
This isn’t a full-on conversation with my AI birb (though that may be the next iteration). Instead, my birb shares a discovery—something he doesn’t fully understand.
I am then asked to help my birb make sense of this discovery. This is a great example of Evoking Awareness, one of the eight core competencies of ICF coaching. Some past discoveries have included:
- Chamomile tea
- Wednesdays
- Day and night
- Forgiveness
As I help my birb reflect, I find myself reflecting on simple yet profound aspects of life and how they shape my values.
5. Weekly Reflection
Every week, Finch zooms out and asks me to reflect:
- What were the highs and lows?
- What could I do differently next week?
- What goals might support that improvement?
It then suggests new goals and allows me to create my own.
Reflection is the key to maturity. This rhythm of looking back and planning forward is at the heart of great coaching. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media, this app encourages me to look inward and focus on personal growth.
6. Encouraging Friends
I’ve discovered that all three of my children use Finch, and I’ve befriended all of their birbs. You can’t directly chat with them (which I appreciate), but you can send encouragement, hugs, and even gifts.
One unusual feature is the ability to request a birb sleepover—so when my kids’ birbs stay over, I see them alongside my own. I found this surprisingly calming.
Many apps push social interaction, but I believe the social elements of major networks often create mass anxiety. While I enjoy connecting with my kids in this way, I don’t want to expand my circle. In this case, less is more.
Conclusion
I typically lose interest in things like this over time. The odds that I’ll still be using Finch in six months? Low. But I do see a possibility.
The app takes just the right amount of time and, at least with the free version, has limited enough features that I can’t waste excessive time on it.
Whether or not I continue using Finch, I find the six features I’ve outlined helpful for personal growth. While I won’t use this app directly with my clients, I may adapt some of its tools to help them reflect and grow.
In a way, Finch has become my personal coach—guiding me toward regular reflection and reinforcing my efforts to set healthier habits.
One of my personal goals has been to use the elliptical two to three times per week. Finch tied this goal to the hatching of a new micropet. So, after a few more workouts, I’ll bring a new birb into the world.
Will I become even more attached? Or will this added responsibility break the spell?
Time will tell.
