For the coaching session to sound like a real conversation, coaches need to go beyond the basics. In a blog post written exclusively for CAM, Brady Ross, who recently graduated from our ECC program, shares five ways to take your conversations to a deeper, richer level.
From Brady:
Most coaches are familiar with the basic coaching skills of active listening and asking powerful questions. If you learn how to utilize both these approaches effectively, you’ll provide value for your clients by encouraging self-discovery and helping them grow.
However, as you proceed in your coaching journey, you’ll want to add a few more tools to your belt. In this article, I’ll introduce a few of my favorite coaching skills beyond the basics. These skills are a little more complicated and don’t always fit perfectly into every situation or conversation. However, when used in the right way and at the right time, they can profoundly impact your clients.
Metaphors
This is one of my favorite approaches to use in coaching. I love thinking in metaphors, and I’ve learned that many clients feel the same way. Our brains are pattern-matching machines, and it’s much easier to make sense of new concepts and ideas when we can compare them to something familiar. It’s why we often find ourselves saying phrases such as “this is like…” or “this reminds me of…” when we encounter new situations. Our brains try to make sense of new events (and conserve energy) by comparing them with old scenarios.
We can use this knowledge to our advantage in coaching by incorporating metaphors (when appropriate) into the conversation. Sometimes the client will provide a metaphor for you to use, and you’ll pick up on it through active listening. Other times, a metaphor will come to mind that you can share with the client before offering space for reflection.
Synthesis
Synthesis is different from simply repeating what the client has to say. Synthesis is looking at a sandwich with ground beef, cheese, and vegetables and calling it a hamburger. (See what I did there? I told you I love metaphors.)
Synthesis helps our clients build awareness by giving them a concise way of looking at themselves and their situations. We can offer synthesized messages while staying true to a coach approach because we aren’t working with anything the client hasn’t already given us. We are simply giving the client’s words and thoughts back to them in a different form that may be easier for them to understand. From there, you can even take synthesis a step forward by asking your client what they agree or disagree with (or what about your synthesis best resonates with them).
Intuition
I love how the authors of “Co-Active Coaching” describe the value of intuition in coaching. They argue that there’s value in intuition in a coaching session, even if the coach’s intuition is wrong. Say that you sense a client may be withholding information in a coaching session, and you share your intuition. If they confirm that they are holding something back, you lead the client to be honest about the situation. If they aren’t holding anything back, you’ve brought about new awareness by helping them affirm their perspective and current outlook.
Bringing in Content
This is one of my favorite things to do in coaching, but it’s also one of the concepts in this list that’s the easiest to misunderstand. I’m not advocating for telling clients what to do or taking an approach that’s not a coach approach. At the same time, I love to learn, and I find tremendous value in sharing different insights with my clients. Because my brain is a pattern-matching machine, I’m constantly connecting what I’m hearing from my clients with other resources I’ve studied. I’ve found that bringing these materials into the conversation greatly enriches the experience for my clients and quickly leads to increased awareness.
Taking off the “Coach” Hat
One of my favorite coaching conversations happened a little over a year ago. I spoke with a client coming out of a busy season at work. This client was expressing some feelings of frustration and disappointment. Here’s how I responded: “I see three hats in front of me. One is a coach’s hat, one is a pastoral counselor’s hat, and one is a friend’s hat. Which hat would you like me to wear?”
To be clear, I may have responded differently if I was doing a recording for the ICF. It’s a slight deviation from the definition of “true coaching.” However, when I work with clients, my greatest priority is to provide value to them at the moment. Sometimes, helping clients demands taking a true coaching approach. Other times, it forces us to be flexible based on the moment’s demands.
I don’t remember which hat my client asked me to wear, but I know he appreciated my willingness to be flexible and give him what he needed. I believe it enhanced the coaching relationship and led to a more effective partnership in the future.
Wrapping Up
Before a football team can learn a trick play, they must first master the basics. Before a musician can improvise, they must practice their scales. If you’re still grasping the basic concepts of coaching, there’s nothing wrong with focusing on those fundamental skills. Hopefully, whether now or in the future, you will see how these next-level coaching skills can equip you to facilitate powerful conversations with clients that help them take action toward their most important goals.
Brady Ross is an author, podcaster, and ICF-certified professional coach in Edmond, OK. He’s passionate about helping people unlock new sources to motivation to pursue the goals that matter most to them. He currently serves as the President of ICF AR-OK, and he recently released his first book, “Seven Steps to Dominate Your Day and Crush Your Goals.” Learn more about Brady by visiting his website or check out his podcast, “Motivation for Regular People.”
