Around the age of 13, I was neck deep in magic tricks. My mom even signed me up for a magic class at the local university. I practiced a lot and developed some stories to make the tricks more interesting. At a summer gathering at my aunt’s house, my mom asked if I could do a little show for the aunts and cousins. Uncles weren’t so interested in that kind of show.

I brought my tricks and was ready to go. However, before show time, my older cousins started a pick-up basketball game. They were really competitive and played hard. You would have thought they were playing for the league championship.

During the game, my mom came out and told me it was time for the show. You do remember my age? I was 13. This is not a child’s best days to be in public. I don’t remember my exact words, but they were something to the effect of “Buzz off mom. I’m playing basketball here.” Didn’t she realize this was the league championship?

I finally did do the show to a less than enthusiastic extended family. I had the chance to shine at something I was fairly good at, but instead I caved to the social pressure of competitive cousins, who valued me because otherwise there would be an odd number of players.

Perhaps you’ve coached church planters who were having trouble raising money, sales people who felt like they were just bothering people, leaders unwilling to make much needed changes, or even coaches lacking the gumption to prospect for clients.

These are internal issues. They feel like they ought to take action, but there is a heavy blanket making movement difficult. These folks need a coach! This is a classic case of Coaching the Person, Not the Problem. (Buy Chad Hall’s book with this title.)

Many times the difference to reaching one’s potential isn’t a lack of skill or opportunity. The obstacle is internal. Here are three internal obstacles your clients may face when given a chance to do something significant.

1. The upside isn’t clear enough to provoke risk.
2. They don’t want to look stupid.
3. They don’t see themselves as a “significant” person.

There is no silver bullet to solve this problem, but let me give you some handles on where to start with a client who is failing to reach their peak potential.

1. Clarify the possible impact.
2. Create Positive Peer-Pressure
3. Unveil their God-given identity

In the rest of this post, I’m going to unpack each of these, and I’ll provide a free resource of skill examples for coaching around this issue.

Clarify the Possible Impact

God clarified the possible impact for Moses.

I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey… – Exodus 3:8

Strangely, just freeing the Israelites from slavery might not have been enough to cause Moses to take action. So God sweetened the offer. The story of God’s delivery of the Israelites out of slavery is the most repeated story in the Bible. God didn’t just want fairness. God wanted to bless beyond measure.

You’re not God; you’re the coach (in case you forgot). So the coach isn’t going to tell the client the upside. The coach is going to help the client gain a full awareness of the upside. Creating awareness is the secret power of great coaching.

Your client needs to be powerfully aware of a beautiful potential future.

A mistake I made in my visionary leadership as a pastor was that to make our church’s vision wider rather than deeper. Wide vision is thin vision. What if instead you coached your client into a deeper vision?

• What would excite Jesus most if you took this risk?
• If you took this risk, how would this help others to take more impactful risks?
• Tell me about the “milk and honey” that could flow through the land if you stepped up.

God didn’t promise more land to Moses. He promised more resources on the land. God’s vision was deeper not wider.

The coach is mining for God’s intention in this client’s life. The hope is to create such intense discovery that the client has no choice but to take action because failure to do so would be too selfish.

Create Positive Peer-Pressure

The first time Moses attempted to step up and step out, he was ridiculed by the people he was trying to help.

The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?” – Exodus 2:14

I think these words, “Who made you ruler and judge over us?”, rung in Moses’ ears the rest of his life. In Exodus 3, when God tells Moses it’s time to step up again, it wasn’t the lack of vision that held him back. It was the lack of support from those around him.

Your client needs to be surrounded by people who believe in your client and in the vision.

God did this for Moses.

The elders of Israel will listen to you. – Exodus 3:18

Your brother Aaron is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. – Exodus 4:14

Mary Kay made it a symbol of pride for their consultants to drive a pink Cadillac. Door to door sales usually feels like you are more of a bother than any kind of hero. The founder wanted her consultants to feel like a hero to the women in their community. Mary Kay flipped the script and created positive pressure on her consultants.

There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.” – Mary Kay Ash

The question here is “Who”? Who can your client surround herself with so that she feels more peer pressure to take the action then to not?

• Who has been the most supportive person in your life?
• The wind just filled your sails. Look around. Who is onboard with you?
• Who would be great at the task you least want to do on this journey?

The coach knows that surrounding the client with supportive people is a great way to attend to the client’s agenda. A team not only provides encouragement but will also fill gaps where the client had previously felt inept.

Unveil a God-given Identity

Moses’ identity was a small town savior. He had stood up to a bully in Exodus 2 and totally botched the operation. He was forced to run into the desert, where he successfully played the role of savior for seven sisters. Moses got elected sheriff of a small desert town.

Honestly it wasn’t a bad gig for Moses, except that the world needed much more out of him. Does the world need more out of you?

It’s interesting to me that when Moses asked, “Who am I that I should go?”, God doesn’t respond, “You’re somebody extra special.”

And God said, “I will be with you.” – Exodus 3:12

The Christian coach knows that the client is something special. God knit each person together with great care and purpose. The coach needs to bring the client closer to God so that the client takes on a special glow.

Your client needs to know that God has his back.

The question here is “What is God’s involvement in this story?”

• How has God placed you into this story?
• God is asking, “What can I do for you?” How do you answer Him?
• What made God pick you for this task?

Warning: The glow fades pretty quick. Coaching identity isn’t a one-time coaching conversation

Conclusion

This is not an easy topic to coach. There is a ton of pressure working against your client. Show up with tremendous grace and encouragement for your client. This requires a lot of building up around the client. This is why the world needs you to be a great coach.