Sometimes people get a word for the coming year. One year my word was sustainable. It was a needed word that helped me transition from pastoring to coaching. It changed my mindset.
This year, God has given me three phrases.
- Do the work.
- Be present.
- Don’t be the hero.
Be Present
The movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is based on a true story (here is the original article) about an investigative reporter who is given the task of writing a short article on Mister Rogers for an issue about America’s Heroes. The investigator however must first be convinced that Rogers is for real. The article is only supposed to be a few hundred words, but the reporter, as he does with all his writing, investigates Rogers as if he will uncover America’s biggest fraud.
In an early scene in the movie, the reporter calls to set up an appointment with Rogers and finds that Rogers himself had answered the phone. Hearing the cynicism, Mister Rogers asks the reporter, “Do you know what the most important thing I’m doing right now is?” The reporter readies his pen. This could be the key to uncovering the truth. “What’s that?” the reporter asks. “I’m talking to you,” Mister Rogers responds. The reporter hears the answer as a dodge from the truth.
Yet one constant characteristic the reporter finds in Mister Rogers is that he is always present, sometimes annoyingly so. There are several scenes where we see Mister Rogers, a busy man, focusing everything he is on the person right in front of him. In perhaps the most powerful scene, Mister Rogers is being present with the reporter at a diner, when suddenly, we the audience find ourselves in the warm presence of the great neighbor himself.
I can’t explain it but there is a healing that occurs in a person’s soul when exposed to the open presence of another human being. It is a sacred thing that does more good than any amount of “doing the work.” You are loved and accepted and valued, just because someone took the time to be present.
I think the fear I have of being personally present is that it can be taken advantage of. I can understand why someone would want to take advantage. It is the feeling of home. It transports the other person to a better place. Sometimes I’d rather eat lunch alone.
The key I believe is to focus one’s presence toward a goal. For Mister Rogers, it was to communicate to children that they could ask for help. For Jesus, it was to raise up disciples in the Kingdom of God and transform the whole planet from evil to good. For me, it is to encourage Christian leaders to stay in the work even though staying will mean enduring more pain, their own and their followers’. It should be directly connected to what I call “doing the work.”
Finally, I need to be present to my immediate family and friends just because that is what family does. Presence with family should rarely have a focus. It should communicate that the family member has so much value that I would gladly trade the precious commodity of time for a few minutes or hours of just existing alongside of them. That is when my own healing comes, knowing that I am in their presence as well.
