I was having breakfast with a friend recently and he was sharing some marriage building advice for husbands he had heard from a well-known Christian teacher. This teacher said that husbands need to solicit feedback from their wife about how they are doing as a husband. That’s pretty simple. My friend was thinking to himself, “Yeah, that’s good advice – I’ll make sure I do that at least once per year…” Then the teacher said husbands need to do it on a weekly basis. What?! My friend thought that was a bit extreme but decided to give it a try. Boy, did he learn some things about how he could be a better husband!
Let’s be honest, most of us don’t like feedback and don’t think we need it. I’m doing just fine, thank you very much!
A while back I was curious about what the difference was between good coaches and great coaches. As I searched for some data that would address my curiosity I came across an article (long lost now – sorry) that said the difference was great coaches solicited feedback from their clients about how they were doing. They were always learning and seeking to get better. Another interesting insight from the article was this: Almost everyone thought they were a great coach. (I’ve seen similar research and findings about preachers with the same insight – most of us think we’re a level 8+ communicator.)
You can blame some of it on the power of the coaching skillset and mindset. When you engage these two things, amazing things happen! Even when our skills aren’t the greatest or we’re struggling to keep the mind of a coach. Because the really cool thing about coaching is: it works! People we are coaching are growing and learning and we are helping them. How awesome is that! But that doesn’t mean we can’t grow (and oftentimes significantly) as a coach.
Here are some ways you can create some feedback loops in your coaching:
Coach a Coach – Find someone who is ahead of you in the coaching journey and ask if you can coach them and get their feedback. Take 30 minutes to coach, take 30 minutes of feedback conversation. Venmo them a token of your appreciation.
Video Yourself Coaching – This is an assignment I do sometimes in the courses I teach. Students generally hate it! We don’t like watching ourselves (unless we’re acting like an idiot on TV at a college football game). And students find it very revealing and helpful. Video with your phone a 15 minute coaching conversation. Take notes on what you observed.
Record A Coaching Conversation and Submit it to CAM For Feedback – This is actually a requirement along your credentialing journey. But this is also something you can do outside of jumping through the hoops of credentialing. Danelle Miller (firstname.lastname@example.org) can walk you through how to do this. You will receive feedback based on the PCC markers for coaching competency. Guaranteed, you’ll get some feedback about where you can grow as a coach.
Coaching works. I LOVE this about the power of coaching. But when we become better coaches, we create the opportunity for our clients to become even better too. You are doing some great things and you have some good skills. Don’t settle. CAM is committed to helping you become great!