A client calls, and his topic is Time Management. He is pastoring part-time, working on a degree, holding down a full-time job, and caring for his aging mother. Nothing is getting his full attention, and so he’d like to figure out how to squeeze one more drop out of that already parched clock.

I yell to the coach, “It’s a trap! It’s a trap! Don’t step into it!” The coach ignores my plea. The stress of this topic causes the coach to inwardly moan. The coach leans forward asking, “What’s got you so busy?” Soon the coach asks, “How would you prioritize your activities?” Looking at the clock and wishing it would tick tock faster to end this horrible session, the coach asks, “Have you ever considered using a calendar?”

The client leaves the session a little early because they must be somewhere in ten minutes. The coach is relieved and wonders if it’s too late to start selling insurance. I think we’ve all had that coaching session, maybe both as a coach and as a client.

The mistake the coach made was making the problem the focus of the coaching conversation. Time management is not a calendar issue but a people issue, as most things are.

The beginner coach will attack the problem with solutions cleverly disguised as questions.

• What’s got you so busy?
• How would you prioritize all your tasks?
• What system are you using to keep track of everything?
• Have you ever tried the system I use?

The client’s boat is taking on water, and you’re suggesting using a thimble to bail water. The water is going to win!

The better coach will help the client gain new awareness about the problem.

• How would Jesus handle this? (No fair saying miracles)
• Describe your perfect day.
• How do you see your progress a year from now?
• How significant is this to you?

These questions allow the client to see the issue in a much more defined manner.  The client may come to some new conclusions about their priorities and systems, but they won’t be suggested. They will be discovered.

The best coach will use the problem as a mirror for the client.

• How did you get to this point?
• What does this reveal about you?
• What are you believing that makes this so difficult?
• How does this fit into the story of your life?

The client doesn’t only learn about the issue but learns about herself. Rather than fix the problem, the client can make an internal shift to literally be different. When the shift occurs, the client will naturally fix the issue. This is powerful coaching and won’t leave you considering a change in careers.

Let me give you one caution. It might seem obvious that you should always use the best coaching level in every coaching conversation. That’s not true. Many times (maybe most of the time), you’ll want to coach at the better coaching level. Your client may have an issue that has to be resolved. They don’t need an internal shift. They need a resolution. Better coaching will give them that resolution.

You might be able to shift between better and best and see which is working better with the current conversation. But anything is better than the beginner approach.