Recently I had a family member get scammed. I won’t share exactly who (out of respect); suffice it so say that it was a close family member, but not a member of my household. After clicking what appeared to be an interesting Facebook link, she immediately got a warning on her screen notifying her that her laptop was infected and instructing her to call Apple immediately at the number on her screen. She made the call and pretty soon the person on the other end had convinced her to press a few buttons, giving him full control of her laptop – including her personal and financial information. Ouch.
Eventually she realized this was a scam and she panicked. It took days to undo the damage and we’re still on the lookout for identity theft and any other strange activity.
In the aftermath, she confessed that she should have known better. But the fact that this was a scam only seemed obvious after the fact. In the moment, it seemed legit because she’d never encountered a scammer.
The human brain is an incredible pattern-matching machine. We encounter new data and we immediately attempt to fit it into the patterns we already have for how the world works. This approach is efficient – it keeps us from wasting time and energy figuring out what that red octagonal sign is every time we encounter one.
But the gains in efficiency from pattern matching are sometimes offset by the losses. When we think something fits a known pattern and it doesn’t, watch out.
In coaching, we support our clients as they encounter all sorts of opportunities, challenges, and issues. Some of these fit known patterns. Many do not.
One of the most common questions I hear beginner coaches ask is, “When have you faced something similar to this?” These coaches want to explore the client’s past in order to find insights and experiences that can shed light on their current issue. The approach seems logical, but it can often result in a misappropriation of pattern-matching.
This isn’t a terrible question, but it’s not a great one, either. When clients need insights for today’s issues, the past isn’t a bad place to look for insight, it’s just not a good place to begin the search. Why? Because starting with the past taps into the pattern-matching shortcut that the client’s brain oh so loves and tempts the client to forego the more difficult task of exploring the current issue in a fresh, creative, and resourceful way.
I find that what many coaches are trying to ask is less about the past and more about the person. They’re attempting to invite the client to explore the client’s strengths in order to leverage those strengths for the immediate issue. But by phrasing the question in terms of the past, they peak into the client’s history rather than the client’s ability.
As you coach, be aware of the pattern-matching shortcut that can prevent your clients from accessing their best thinking and full creativity. Instead of relying on their past for insight, engage their strengths, their resourcefulness, and their ability to figure out new things.
