When I talk about coaching, someone always asks the question:

“What if the client wants to do something inappropriate or illegal?”

My simple response has become:

“When it happens to me, I’ll answer this question, but so far, it has never happened.”

I asked my friend and partner Chad Hall the same question to get his response. Chad said this:

“An unreflected life is one that goes after base desires.”

Coaching calls people to reflection. At coaching’s lowest level, we ask “How can I get to where I want to go?” That can certainly become selfish. But at coaching’s highest level, we ask, “Who are you in God’s unfolding story?” That can definitely lead to a selfless and yet satisfying life.

At Christmas, we reflect on the unique journey of God as He leaves heaven and takes up residence in a single cell of human flesh. It isn’t the birth of Christ that astounds me. It is the conception of Christ that leaves me without words. I believe that at the moment of conception, what scientists call a zygote (a single cell fertilized egg), the Son of God bound Himself to human flesh.

Every coach can become a better coach by reflecting on the conception of Christ.

• The conception of Christ is God’s clearest communication of partnership with us.
• The conception of Christ gives me hope that I don’t have to give in to my basest desires.
• The conception of Christ helps me more clearly see that I am a part of the family of God.

A Coach Partners with the Client

Jesus didn’t wave us on up into heaven because it wasn’t a journey we could make. He also didn’t descend to earth in pure light with a galactic entourage because we couldn’t have looked upon Him. Instead, he lowered Himself to our level and lived and loved and suffered amongst us.

The best coaches partner with people. They makes themselves vulnerable and available. They take up residence where the client lives and still leave plenty of space for the client. An honest client is dealing with conflict from every angle – from those on the outside, from those on the inside, and even from within themselves. The Christ-like coach dives into their world without judgment or hesitation. It is the greatest act of love we can show – to simply live with them.

Jesus Himself left us with responsibility for our lives. He helped us to open our eyes and to reflect on what is best but He (though God Himself) never imposed His will upon anyone. Some people took great advantage of the partnership. Many did not. Jesus never condemned anyone, though their choices often made Him sad.

We can become better partners in 2016 by upping our level of respect for our clients, by becoming even more curious about their God-given strengths and God-given circumstances. What has God put in their path that only they could take advantage of this next year? We do a grave disservice in trying to point out what we think they should do in every situation. We do them a great service by helping them begin to identity what God has for them so that they can learn to follow His lead with less and less reflection.

A Coach Gives Hope to the Client

Jesus personal circumstances were much worse than any I have ever faced. He faced homelessness, violence and shame before He could walk. We never hear of Jesus’ father again after the birth in that lonely stable. Jesus wore the same flesh as me that called Him into the same corruptible desires that I face every day. And yet, Jesus became the best known, best loved person in all of human history.

A Christian coach is in the unique position to tell anyone they coach that everyone can overcome their past and become a blessing to their community. Jesus tells story after story like this. The writers of the Old Testament love this theme as well. Which stories come to your mind about the redemption of a person’s past?

Jesus made visible in human flesh that it is possible to overcome our most sinful desires. We don’t have to act on every impulse. We can retrain our minds to lead us in better directions. Coaches help clients discover core values and convictions that build healthy strategies for living and working. Clients no longer just have to react. They get the opportunity to really think through their next step.

We can become better encouragers in 2016 by renewing our commitment to this powerful Scripture:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13

A little earlier in Philippians I noticed a Scripture that should be a mantra for the Christian coach:

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

If you are doing that, you will be one in a million and highly sought after.

A Coach Draws Out a Client’s Identity

As far as I know, Jesus still has human flesh. He was different after the resurrection, but He still ate and famously let Thomas touch wounds which remained in His hands and His side. The Old Testament spends a lot of time revealing the hidden identity of major characters. No one realized that Joseph would save his family, let alone nations. No one realized that Moses would return to free His people from slavery. No one realized that this shepherd boy would slay a giant and become the greatest king a nation has ever known. Is identity only for the greats?

Jesus said:

I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. – Revelation 2:17

Jesus has a place for all who call on His name. When you are coaching a client, you are coaching an eternal person with an eternal calling upon their life. I believe that Moses is still leading, that Joseph is still providing, that David is still protecting, that Mary is still loving, and that Paul is still pressing the boundaries.

We can become better coaches in 2016 by asking questions that help our clients discover who God has created them to be at this present time and into the future. We should ask questions we can’t possibly know the answers to. We should ask questions that make our clients think at the deepest possible levels of the human mind. We should ask questions that lead our client to taking strong action where God has revealed His will in their lives.

Wishing You a Great 2016

I am so glad that 2016 will be my first full year as a professional Christian coach. I expect to be blown away by what God accomplished through myself and through my clients and students. I hope you will join me on this great journey into the future.