I find myself at a crossroads—nearing 60, staring at doors that seem possible but not yet open, and wondering which, if any, will swing wide. I stood here before, about 15 years ago, and told God that if He wanted me to stay where I was, I would serve Him the rest of my life, but I was hoping for more. And then more became available, through multiple avenues.

Here I am again, unsatisfied, with unseen forces pressing me to make a change. No door that I see is particularly inviting. All would take care of my needs, give me opportunities to use my gifts, place people around me who would appreciate my effort, and yet, they all feel like I’d be wearing someone else’s clothes.

Maybe you’ve been here too—doors half-opened, questions unresolved. While I know that I can be fruitful for another decade, or even more, the truth is that opportunities are no longer endless. I’d like to spend the last season of my life anchoring a solid legacy, rather than cutting a new path through a dense and dangerous jungle.

And I ask myself, “What if no door opens at all?” Can I once again tell God that I serve at His pleasure, and if He chooses for me to stay where I am, then that is where I’ll stay? And if I do, will I serve Him with the joy that He deserves? And yet, I do want more. I want to serve from the center of my strengths, making evident progress, and perhaps creating something that will benefit generations to come.

So here is the question: How do we live faithfully when no doors are widely open?

God Knows More Than I Do

The most basic theological truth is that God knows more about my future than I will ever know. In my early twenties, I had a revelation in a way I have not experienced since. God spoke to me about helping others experience Him in richer and deeper ways that many are not currently experiencing. The specifics of this work were, however, not made clear.

My logical mind can explore options A, B, and C, but God’s mind can know an infinite number of paths. In some of my favorite stories, something unexpected occurs, which leads to an opportunity for the protagonist that he had not considered. And yet, God does not want me to cease my exploration of what I know, while also being open to what I do not.

God also likes to show up and show off from time to time, opening doors that we did not even realize were doors. Think Red Sea. Oftentimes we are hesitant to walk through such a door, thinking that it is our faith that is holding up the walls of water, when in actuality, it is a faithful and loving God who lives to be the framer of our opportunities.

With this knowledge of God, why do we continue to doubt and despair? And yet, sometimes I despair. Maybe you do too.

The Despair of Closed Doors Is Valid

For dreamers, loss is inevitable—every closed door represents a possibility that will never be realized. I’ve always imagined being more fruitful, and while this tends to make me powerfully visionary, it also requires that most of my dreams will never come true. From my vantage point, I can see that the previous generation is dying and that their impact has faded surprisingly fast.

Death sends us a signal (we probably receive it all of our lives), but only as we age do we start to sense the source of the message. The message is humbling: “You are not so important that an exception will be made.” While doors may remain open for a time, a day is coming when all doors will be shut. All opportunities will be lost.

A person must grieve loss, or they can get forever stuck. Grief is a combination of sorrowful tears, later replaced by joyful memories. Without grief, resentment takes root. Bitterness infects every interaction. Closed doors require a proper despair that leads to contentment. True grief makes room for whatever is next.

Grieving the closed doors clears space for me to live in that uncomfortable tension—where despair and faith somehow have to hold hands.

Faith at the Crossroads Is a Balancing Act

The act of faith is knowing that God is One who cannot help but bless. A popular cultural phenomenon is that people like to manifest their destiny, believing their dreams are true until they become true. While He wants us to have faith in our futures, He wants us to believe in His gracious character rather than in what we prefer.

Many people I know believe they have disappointed God. Yet, God continues to forgive and then ultimately to bless. God can only allow the drought to remain for so long. And then, it rains… on everyone. Jesus describes God’s character in the Sermon on the Mount: “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

Just because a door is open does not mean that the journey through it will be easy. The best open doors bring with them a challenge, and challenge brings maturity, which is perhaps God’s overall goal. The open door is satisfying mainly because we can now see the way forward, and forward is more comforting than stalled. But sometimes waiting is exactly what is required to build our character.

God loves to bring life where there was none, creating paths that we could never force open. Our faith signifies that we believe God is not primarily disappointed, but instead He is steadfastly eager to restore us to a place of greater power and authority. Think of all the great Bible stories (Joseph, Moses, David, Paul), and restoration is always the outcome.

God’s message is similar to the message of Death: “All things work together for good. An exception will not be made for you.” The crossroads is not about manifesting my future but trusting the God who delights in raising the dead and opening impossible doors. You will be blessed. God cannot help Himself.

Final Thoughts

God has opened an unexpected path for me, one I never could have predicted. To my surprise, this open door has contented my deepest desires—it plays to my strengths and echoes the original call He placed on my life decades ago.

I don’t yet know exactly how it will unfold, and that’s part of the faith required at the crossroads. But what I do know is this: it carries the unmistakable hallmarks of God’s hand. It is both gift and responsibility, both opportunity and risk. And in that, I see a God who not only knows the future but delights in giving His people a path that reveals His purposes in ways beyond our imagining.

So at this crossroads, I step forward—not because I know where it leads, but because I trust the One who opened the way. At your crossroads, will you trust in Him as well?