Blog Post: Hey Coach, What Are You Looking At?

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Beginner coaches often seek to add value by helping the client solve a problem. And that’s okay – it’s kind of like, “Problem examined, problem solved, let’s get to the next problem.”

Meanwhile, masterful coaches add value by helping clients grow, develop, and become a new kind of person (often the kind of person who is more capable of dealing with life’s challenges).

One way to move from beginner to masterful coach is to pay attention to where the focus is. There are three options:

  1. The Coach and the Client both look at the problem.

In this case, the coach is looking at the problem, often as a fellow problem solver with the client. And while two heads are better than one, this approach to coaching is very limited and often devolves into consulting or mentoring as the coach shows how smart she is by doing some of the problem solving. At the end of the session, the client may have a solved problem, but that’s about it.

  1. The Coach looks at the Client while the Client looks at the problem.
    This is much better than option #1 because now the coach is coaching the person, not the problem. In this scenario, the coach is facilitating the client’s problem-solving ability, and therefore building that capacity in the same way that a muscle strengthens with use. At the end of the session, the client has more confidence and more problem-solving strength.
  2. The Coach and the Client are both looking at the Client.
    Masterful coaches know when to go beyond the second option and invite the client to use the problem as a mirror that allows the client to look inward. When a client looks inward, he is opening the door to very high leverage change, growth, and even transformation. In this option, the coach is facilitating self-reflection and inward shifts. At the end of the session, the client has occupied a different place from which to approach life’s problems (and opportunities). By the way, this option usually feels kind of risky for the coach and the client.

Here’s a very short example of how these three options might play out in a coaching conversation. Let’s say the client is wondering how to ask for a raise.

· Option #1 – The coach might say, “It seems like you’d want to make your case, so what evidence could you provide your boss to demonstrate that you deserve a raise?” This statement shows the coach is doing a lot of the thinking and is inviting the client to partner with the coach in solving the issue.

· Option #2 – The coach might ask, “What are three very different ways you could ask for a raise?” This question invites the client to some hard work and really gets the client thinking beyond his current problem-solving perspective.

· Option #3 – The coach might ask, “As you imagine talking with your boss about a raise, what do you notice is going on in your head and heart?” This question invites the client to use the “problem” as a mirror with which to better see himself in order that he can affirm or adjust what he sees. The change happens inside before affecting change outside.

Not every session calls for the third option, but masterful coaches pay attention and have the courage to take the risk when it’s time.

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