Let’s clear something up that confuses many would-be coaches: coaching is not counseling.

You’d think that would be obvious, but it’s not—especially to people who are just getting started in the world of coaching. In fact, one of the most common concerns I hear from beginner coaches is something along the lines of: “I don’t want to coach people because I’m not trained or licensed to deal with deep emotional issues.”

Fair enough. But here’s the good news: as a coach, you’re not supposed to be a therapist.

If you’re worried that coaching will have you wading into someone’s childhood wounds, reliving their most painful memories, or offering mental health diagnoses, let me put your mind at ease. That’s not what coaching is. That’s not what coaching is for. That kind of thing is counseling territory, not coaching.

To help you get clear, let’s draw the line between coaching and counseling—and, more importantly, why that difference matters to your effectiveness as a coach.

Looking Back vs. Looking Forward

One of the clearest distinctions is this: counseling often looks back; coaching looks forward.

Counseling is about healing. It helps people process past wounds and regain stability. Think of someone who’s been through trauma—loss, addiction, abuse. A counselor is trained to walk with them through that.

Coaching, on the other hand, is about growth. It meets the person in areas of life where they are healthy and capable. Coaches help people clarify what they want, identify what’s getting in the way, and take action.

A few years ago, I was coaching a ministry leader who kept circling back to a painful split with a previous church. The pain was real and still raw. And it was tempting to try and help him process the grief of that experience. But that wasn’t coaching work. Instead, I asked, “What does healing look like for you now—and how would it show up in your leadership going forward?” That question pulled him out of the rearview mirror and got him focused on who he wanted to become. It shifted the whole tone of the conversation from regret to possibility.

Dysfunction vs. Potential

Here’s another key difference: counselors often work with dysfunction while coaches work with potential.

If someone’s car is totaled, they need a mechanic. If the car runs fine but they don’t know where they’re headed, they need a GPS. Counseling is about getting the engine running again. Coaching is about charting the course to a desired destination.

One of my clients was a successful executive who felt stuck. She wasn’t broken. She wasn’t in crisis. She was just unclear about what was next. She started the session saying, “I don’t even know why I signed up for coaching. Nothing’s really wrong.” We explored that. I asked what she wanted more of in her life and leadership, and pretty soon we were talking about vision, values, and what was energizing (or draining) her. She was right—there was nothing “wrong” in her life. What she needed wasn’t therapy—it was a forward-focused relationship that helped her make better decisions about how she showed up at work and could get the most from her life.

Depth vs. Direction

While coaching is not counseling, let’s not pretend coaching never gets personal. It does. But it gets personal in service to direction, not diagnosis.

Counselors dig deep because healing often requires it. Coaches go deep enough to uncover what’s helpful, then leverage new awareness in service of action. We don’t diagnose or analyze—we illuminate.

I remember coaching a pastor who said he always felt anxious when delegating. Part of me wanted to say, Let’s unpack where the anxiety stems from and what might be causing it. Like a doctor trying to find the source of the pain, I wanted to dig, diagnose, and then prescribe a solution. But I resisted. I stayed in coaching mode and asked, “What message do you tell yourself when you delegate?” He paused, then said, “That I’ll be disappointed with the result.” From there, we worked on reframing, building trust, and crafting small delegation experiments. We didn’t need to do a deep dive into his psyche—we simply needed to help him find new tools to act differently.

The “What If…” Trap

If you’re new to coaching and find yourself hesitating, here’s what you might be thinking:

What if someone starts crying? What if I say the wrong thing? What if they open up about something deep and I have no idea what to do?

Let me reassure you: it’s okay. You don’t have to be the fixer. You’re not the counselor. You’re the coach. Your job is to create space, listen well, ask curious questions, and trust your client’s capacity to move forward.

And when someone brings up something that sounds more clinical than coachable? You can say, “That’s an important issue—and it might be better to explore that with a counselor.” That’s not dropping the ball. That’s you being a wise and ethical coach. In fact, helping a client recognize the need for therapy and then develop a game plan for working with a therapist is a rich space of connection between coaching and counseling.

A few months ago I had a client who was working on frequent outbursts at work. She said she felt out of control and that she had felt that way since she was young. We explored that a bit before agreeing that talking with a therapist could be helpful to her. I made some recommendations, and with a qualified therapist she unpacked childhood hurts that were contributing to the unhelpful patterns she was displaying at work and at home. Our coaching teed up the work she did with the therapist, and we applied the new awareness she gained from therapy in our coaching sessions.

Why This Clarity Matters

So why does all this matter?

Because when you blur the line between coaching and counseling, you either overreach or backpedal. You might try to play therapist—or avoid coaching altogether because you’re scared you’ll get in over your head.

But when you understand the difference, you can coach with confidence. You know your lane. You know your purpose. You don’t have to resolve someone’s past—you just help them navigate their next step. You don’t have to heal someone of trauma—you just support them in clarifying what they really want and what they need to do to get there.

So if you’re a new coach and feeling a little intimidated, don’t worry. You’re not here to heal people. You’re here to help them grow. That’s a powerful role. And when you stay true to it, you’ll be amazed at what your clients can accomplish.

P.S. If you’re interested in how coaches deal with emotions, check out our on-demand course Emotions in Coaching ($129).