“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” – Proverb

The best coaching, with no built-in accountability, is a disservice to our client. Very often, the coaching I hear tacks on accountability as strongly as Eeyore has tacked on his tail – as an afterthought. Many coaches who have thirty minutes to coach ask their client about accountability at minute thirty-two.

The coach asks, “Is there anybody who could keep you accountable?” The answer to this question is a resounding “No!” I have found over the years that there is absolutely no one who wants to keep you accountable. There is no one who wants to ask you the tough questions. And if you find someone who wants to keep you accountable, run. Run as fast as you can. This is a horrible person.

And then there is the fact that people lie. They are tricky about their lie though. Let me give you an example.

Accountability Partner: Hey, how is your progress on those commitments we talked about?

Person who made Commitments: Pretty good. (Note there is no exclamation mark here. Both words are said with some positivity.)

Accountability Partner: So you’ve had some failures? (This is from third level listening. At a lower listening level, the Accountability Partner will answer, “Good.”)

Person with the Issue: (Breaks eye contact) Yeah. I’ve had some failures.

The client doesn’t want to disappoint anyone. They put a positive spin on the issue just to avoid the accountability that they originally asked for.

There is a better way. If you are coaching a thirty minute coaching session, be prepared to move to the accountability question around minute twenty to twenty-five. I know as a client that I usually come up with really good ideas for action, and I probably even sound enthusiastic about taking those actions. Then five minutes after the session I’m on to something else, and those well designed action steps are put up on a high shelf down in the basement. We’ll never see them again till we’re ready to move.

Imagine being a coach that is known for clients who take action and consistently make changes that improves their own lives and the lives of those around them.

Accountability isn’t about “who” but about “what”. I’ve identified three areas of “what” that will help a coach craft an accountability plan for a client, which is much stronger than any “who.”

Create an Obnoxious Reminder

I have many clients who put a reminder in their calendars and the deal is done. The calendar is great for me when I have to meet someone at a specific time. The calendar might as well be written in invisible ink if it is a reminder to take an action. It won’t work for me. I’ve proven it time and again.

Comedian Mike Birbiglia was recently asked on the Tim Ferriss Show about how he powered through writing movie scripts. It sounded like a coaching moment. He realized that when he made appointments with others, he always showed up on time. So he wondered how he could make an appointment with himself that would harness his proven ability to show up for others. Mike wrote a note to himself that said, “Hey Mike! You have an appointment with your brain at 7am at the coffee shop.” He put this note on the table right beside his bed. It worked.

It would have been one thing for Mike to have put in his online calendar, “7am Write at the Coffee Shop.” It became obnoxious when he wrote out a note and placed it by his bed. Coach toward obnoxious accountability.

I was once coached around the issue of staying in better contact with my away-at-college daughter. I must confess I’m a little “out of sight, out of mind.” The coaching itself formed around ways I might want to keep in contact with her, and things I might want to say to her. But the key to the coaching was the accountability. I knew myself well enough to know I needed something fairly obnoxious.

My coach smartly asked, “What reminds you of her?” I was sitting in my office, which was formerly (and still on occasion) her bedroom. I looked around and saw a blindingly orange hat in her closet that looked like it was made from the leftover fur Jim Henson used to make Animal (the Muppet that plays the drums.) It was perfect. I put the hat on a shelf that was near eye level in my office. It was hard to miss. Whenever I saw the hat, it reminded me to think about sending a note to my daughter. It worked.

I now use this hat to remind me of all kinds of things I need to do. Sometimes I hang it on the edge of my computer monitor until the task is done. I recently hung the hat on the head of my guitar because I was dragging my feet in buying a much needed new guitar.

Raise the Urgency to an Eleven

Many people don’t take coached action because it honestly isn’t that important to them. They say it is important but reality is the real judge of importance. As a coach, you do have the power to help the client raise the level of urgency of the action that needs to occur.

One summer I had been jogging two or three times a week. As it was moving into winter, I knew what would happen. The cold would stop my progress dead. I got some coaching about the issue, and frankly, was unable to be coached to any reasonable solution. The coach was too focused on solving the problem. We never got around to accountability.

As I later worked on the accountability by myself, I came up with a surprising connection. I had been wanting to get Audible.com, which would let me listen to one book a month. The price was stopping me. It was $14.95 per month. That doesn’t sound too bad till you multiply it by 12 months. It was too pricey. But then I formed a deal in my head. I would get Audible.com but I would only allow myself to listen to it if I was out running. This added an urgency, a desire even, to go out and run even with snow on the ground. It was well worth paying $14.95 per month to continue exercising through a cold winter.

If you don’t start creating accountability till late in the coaching conversation, you won’t have time to help the client be creative in their accountability. You won’t change their life.

Follow Up at the Next Session

Until recently, I didn’t ask my clients how they did on their action steps from our last session. The reason was simple. I am not their “who.” I don’t personally keep them accountable. I don’t really want to, and it doesn’t really work.

But now I do ask, but not for the reason you would think. As they recount their failure or success, I’m not listening for a win or loss, but for what made them remember to take the action or what failed to make them take action. You need to be a student of the person not of the problem. It will take trial and error to find out what kind of accountability works and what kind doesn’t. Everyone is different.

The next time we build accountability, I can point to what worked and what didn’t. We should be able to up our client’s success rate by paying attention. We are listening for our client not always to our client.

Conclusion

Take less time to design perfect actions and take more time to insure that the client’s commitment has strong accountability attached. The client didn’t pay to be coached. The client paid to get results.

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