A major newspaper ran this article: “Missouri pastor lived a lifetime of lies. How he was exposed as an abuser and fraud.” I had known this pastor, Justin, for over 20 years. At one point, he ended up working for our denomination and was the key driver in scheduling a coach training class that introduced me to coaching and Coach Approach Ministries.

When you read an article like this one and realize that you were one of the people in a position to intervene, you ask yourself, “What should I have done differently?” At no point did I ever consider calling the police or trying to extricate his family. Justin appeared to be the victim in many ways more than anyone else. In other words, Justin seemed to be the one who needed protection.

Firing him was not a solution; he was regularly fired from ministry positions every six months his entire adult life. This didn’t stop the fraud or the abuse. He simply moved to another position, often a better one. I hate to admit this, but I don’t think there was anything that I could have done to stop this cycle. 

Looking back, three behaviors should have caused concern: over-promising, playing the victim, and proclaiming genius. These three behaviors all create a powerful facade that protects the purveyor of fraud. They play on human emotion and create the belief that they need support rather than intervention.

Over-Promising

At a leadership retreat, I overheard a discussion about a church that needed to find a pastor who could eventually replace the founding pastor. Justin jumped in immediately, “I promised him I would find his replacement.” He said this with sincerity and conviction, yet red flags rose for me. I pulled him aside and said, “Don’t do that. Don’t promise. You can’t promise.” 

Why is our culture enamored with the promise? Movie after movie has a pivot point where the hero promises the victimized family, “I’ll save the day. I promise,” as if a promise is all that is required to ensure heroic success. I’d prefer, “I’ll do all I can.” I can believe that, but when you promise, you have effectively created a lie.

When you hear the word promise, you are likely entering the world of fraud. You should not only push back, you should question the premise of why that word was used at all. There is only One who can truly make a promise, and He said that everyone else should just let their “yes be yes, and their no, no” (Matthew 5:37).

Playing the Victim

I first met Justin over lunch to see if he would be interested in planting a church for our denomination. Like many other denominations at the time, we were hot and heavy about starting new churches. Justin was a local pastor who was having success in growing his congregation, yet the church leaders were not happy about it (or at least, this is the story he told). There were no red flags this first time. I felt bad that his heroic effort was being sabotaged by the hapless, ignorant leaders of his church. Reflecting back, our relationship started on the fraudulent premise that Justin was the victim.

Don’t get me wrong; people are often victimized. Someone with more power takes advantage of another for their benefit. The red flag should rise when the leader claims to be victimized. Leadership naturally catalyzes change, and change naturally agitates people. The leader will ALWAYS encounter resistance, but in no way does this make the leader a victim.

When you hear a leader talking about being the victim of their followers, you are likely entering the world of fraud. The leader must understand that the followers will always push back and will not always do it fairly. If leading gets you fired, then you’ve led poorly. Leadership always leaves scars on the leader.

Proclaiming Genius

Justin often proclaimed his genius. I don’t remember his exact words, but he once related to me that we were both blessed with incredible genius. Justin was smart, but he desired to be known as a genius. One of the clearest evidences of fraud was when he claimed to have earned a doctorate from a prestigious school. He had not. He never even finished college.

A genius is someone who can make the complicated simple, but the person who proclaims their genius usually wants to avoid having to explain themselves. They are conveying that a person with average intelligence probably can’t understand the situation. This is a precursor to fraud. If a genius cannot explain the solution in a way that resonates with the average person, then they are not as smart as they want you to believe.

When you hear a person espousing their own genius, you are likely entering the world of fraud. Genius or not, we have been created to live in relationships and work through things together. We should be more than willing to have our ideas, and more importantly, our motives, questioned repeatedly. The idea of the misunderstood genius is the plight of a self-centered narcissist and should be avoided.

Conclusion:

My purpose for writing this article is to ask, “What could have been done to expose Justin’s abuse and fraud earlier?” The answer is complicated. There is no way I could have intervened on behalf of Justin’s family. There is no way I could convince many of his continuing fans that though Justin did create some great opportunities (such as with me and coaching), his behaviors were toxic and should have been avoided.

What I can do is encourage us to create healthy cultures that devalue fraudulent behaviors. When we hear people in our circles making promises, playing the victim, or proclaiming their genius, we should immediately devalue these contributions. We should stop the discussion and challenge the source of these toxic behaviors. They simply cannot be ignored or even be dealt with privately.

If we do not uphold these standards, we will continue reading about lives ruined by fraud and abuse. If we refuse to stand against fraudulent behaviors, we are refusing to stand up for those who will be abused by them. As coaches, we can start by calling our clients to account when we witness these behaviors.